Opportunist?

Some see a bisexual label as a kind of taking advantage, or sort of gaming the system, in several ways. One is convenience: on college campuses, some women are called BUGs or LUGs (Bisexual or Lesbian Until Graduation).

“The implication is that you are not a REAL lesbian, you are just adapting to the lack of daily access to men and conforming to peer pressure at a women’s college. It’s such an insult….It implies that lesbian relationships are just practice for men.” -KL

“‘Lesbian with a boyfriend’ is a label you hear a lot, because women see the label of bisexual as apostasy to the lesbian cause. They’ve gone to all the trouble and pain of coming out and don’t want to go back. “ -GC

For some, the opportunism might just be a kind of mutual research project.

“Girls are declaring themselves lesbian and bisexual at younger and younger ages, like 14 and 15. Some are certain. Some react to their inundation with sex messages in the media and their fears of sex by deciding that experimenting with their own sex is easier…. Lots of lesbian girls experiment with boys too.” – SC

Another advantage, or reversal of a disadvantage, might be a reaction/defense mechanism where “hookup culture” is prevalent for men.

“I have a friend who says she is bisexual. She has dated women but rarely slept with them, and slept with several men but never dated them.” -KL

Some women who claim bisexuality seem to be acting, in order to use heterosexual male fantasies for their own benefit.

‘Bisexual’ is a kind of showy label…. Sometimes they hook up with women [meaning making out] in front of men just to get more male attention. – KL

What does your teen say about these ideas? 

See also this post about why the idea of change in someone’s attractions seems so terrifying.

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