Rules: What’s Relevant and Responsible Now?

For example, no mixed-sex slumber parties were allowed when I was a teen. Surely the main point of this was to make it harder for boy-girl couples to find opportunities for sexual activity. But what about same-sex couples?

“You’re not even bothering to make a rule about their sexuality, so it must not exist. But invisibility and isolation are the worst things for LGBTQ kids.” -AR

“You have to walk a fine line between being supportive and holding kids back from moving too fast. Having to keep a door open is a good rule. Any group sleepover, no matter the genders, is ok as long as everyone stays in ONE room. Not much will happen in front of everyone else.” -KL

“At first I had a rule about not bringing dates into the house, but my son asked if he would rather I kissed his boyfriend outside. He wanted to rent movies and make popcorn for his dates. But I still have a rule, no girlfriends or boyfriends spend the night at our house. And, it’s okay to express your love [e.g., kissing and cuddling] but please remember there are other people walking around here. This is the same for my straight son and his dates.” -MS

It’s an intensely personal thing. It’s your body, your experience. The parent has to give you the tools to feel good about the decision and to have the wisdom to make it.” – TA


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